Yesterday was a really hard day.
My baby didn’t sleep the night before, so I was awake from 2am on with a short catnap here and there. She was very fussy and cried ALL DAY. My check engine light came on. I was short on patience and kindness with my older two. Oh, and did I mention that my husband is gone?
All day I asked the Lord to give me a word. To give me a Bible verse. To speak to me and tell me what He had to say about this week while I’m “on my own.” And then as I was tucking Emerson in to bed last night, he asked to read a story in the Jesus Storybook Bible – which, by the way, is the BEST KIDS’ BIBLE EVER. I told him it was his pick, and he picked “Filled Full!” which is the story of the miracle of the loaves and the fish.
And there it was. In the middle of the story, the little boy brings his basket with 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus. The disciples snickered at him, saying there was not enough. And the author writes, “But they were wrong. Jesus knew it didn’t matter how much the little boy had. God would make it enough, more than enough… Jesus knew the One who in the very beginning had made everything out of nothing at all.” (pg. 246) And that’s when I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me about motherhood.
As the disciples started handing out the food, there was always enough. In fact, there was more than enough! All they had to do was keep breaking off pieces, and God kept providing. Just like with the loaves and the fish, we as mamas bring what we have each day, and we break off a little piece of us here and a little piece of us there. And somehow, by the end of the day, we realize that there was enough of us to take care of our kids. More than enough.
Yesterday morning, I started the day off wondering how in the world I would make it through on 3 hours of sleep. But I consciously brought what I had to the table. The teeny tiny amount of me that was left. And God just kept using me and using me and allowing me to be enough for each minute. Each hour. Each task. Each feeding. Each hug. Each chore. Somehow, by the end of the day, each of my kids had food in their bellies, affirmation in their hearts, and snuggles in their bodies. And what was the most incredible thing of all, is that there was enough leftover energy for me to take care of a couple of things before I went to bed last night. And we slept SO WELL last night. So well that I was able to wake up early to write this post.
So mamas, on the days that everything goes crazy, when you don’t know how you will make it through, when diapers explode and check engine lights come on and tempers tantrums flare, just know that all you have to do is bring what you have. You don't have to worry about the rest of the day, you just need to bring what you have in each second, moment and minute. God will take care of the rest. Just like with the loaves and the fish, He will make you enough for each passing moment. More than enough. Because that’s what God has been doing since the beginning- “taking the nothing and making it everything. Taking the emptiness and filling it up. Taking the darkness and making it light.” (pg. 249) Taking the maxed out mama and making her two hands more than enough for her children.
And that is why I love parenting side by side with the Lord. Because He takes the little bit that I have and multiplies it. It's a miracle that happens day in and day out.
Don't do motherhood without Him. <3